 Leaning in toward her reflection, she made an attempt to pull her out of the spiral she’d been under. Chaos was the narrative living in her mind. Inside there was no relief. She searched outward, but all she could hear was a stranger’s monologue, “what you need…” She didn't want to just be heard, she wanted to be helped, but help wasn’t helping. It was merely a finger pointing in another direction. One she’d already ran, walked, crawled. She looked up and wondered what she was to do next. A crush for those around her would be her relief. Avoidant, she sat still, eyes closed and hopeless. She waited. By Jessica G Ferrer WARNING. Leer con cuidado y discreción. Aquí hablo sobre la oscuridad de la depresión. 
por Jessica G Ferrer 
image by Abimael Linares
As I prayed near my window and looked up I noticed the form of the clouds. The sheer brightness that allowed me to look. The unmeasured and yet perfect shape that held them up in place. What a beautiful thing. The clouds above me. I can see. It sparked a memory from my childhood.
I remembered laying flat with my back against the cemented driveway where my parents rented a home. There was not a worry in my mind. I remember the innocence, the freedom in my body as gravity pulled me naturally. I was grounded. The reason so many practice yoga for, I did without intention. A smile was simple, honest, and tranquil. The clouds were moving or was it me? I'd close my eyes and feel the shifting of the clouds. I'd open them and there they were right there with me. Their perfect unmeasured shape. Their brightness and aero blue skies right behind them and in between. The clouds haven't changed or have they? They’re still here, with me. My innocence has escaped me, but the memories haven’t. It’s good to remember the simple times. There’s much to learn from innocence. By Jessica G Ferrer |
A Column by Jessica G Ferrer Archives
October 2024
Categories |
RSS Feed
