No one ever said college would be easy. But no one said it would be this hard! If they did, I probably wasn't listening or I just knew I could do it. "High school will prepare for you for college," they said. Now I wish I would have had more fun in high school! "College prepares you for the real world," they said. I'm sure many can agree on what a big lie that is. Though I must admit what I learned and the few relationships I built did have an effect on me and did contribute to my self awareness and how I live today, in a positive way.

Here's what "they" don't tell you:

•You will probably fail a few classes

•You will feel as if you're letting everyone down

•You'll find yourself blaming yourself for the inevitable, i.e. bombing exams-ones you probably walked into feeling extremely confident- and dropping out of classes because it's an overload of shit and you're up to your eyeballs on it all.

•You will have a lot of roommates.

•You will always be lost on campus and everyone else is as lost as you are. You're all just trying to disguise it, which if you look at from the outside it's actually pretty funny.

•You will break out (pimples and all!).

•You're weight will probably fluctuate, but hey at least it's consistent.

•You will look at other people and think how are they doing it. They are wondering the same thing!

•You will make mistakes, get up and probably make more.

•You will learn from your mistakes and realize it's a learning process.

•You will look back and say, I fucking did it!

Because you will! We all have our pace. It's okay to fall. You will get up and try, try, again. You will succeed, especially after you "fail".

You Mother Are Phenomenal. May every day be your day. I love you Mother. Happy Mother's Day!

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

by Maya Angelou

A friend of his was coming into town. He mentioned it briefly, so I could take a note and add to my calendar. As the date approached, I sensed retraction. He wouldn't have admitted it. I didn't ask at first. I allowed him to come forth on his own time, his own terms. When the day arrived, I took a head start on him and got ready. After all, I was going to meet a woman who I already knew he'd dated previously. For some reason I was okay with it. I was confident because I was his present and therefore his past meant nothing. Repudiation. He wandered until he finally said it, "I'm not sure I want you to come with me." Bewildered, I asked him, "why? What's in your mind that has kept you wandering for the past few days?"  Nervous and apprehensive, he said "She got married. I never told you about her, but I use to really like her and she just strung me along. Now, I find out through Facebook that she's married. She hasn't even told me and I just don't know how I will react when I see her." As I tried to look at him with loving eyes, I was just confused. Still, I looked at the situation in a way a supportive fiancé would or should. I felt deceived, heartbroken. I knew that if this is how he felt, that meant that I was not the only one living in his heart. I said, "I understand that you feel this way and I hope this will bring you clarity or at least what you're looking for." I decided to stay home. But he insisted on me joining him. I would've stayed, but a part of me wanted to stand by him and another part of me wanted to meet this other woman and find out what was so special about her that it could awaken emotions of the man I chose. 

We arrived and while I looked around for reasons to disappear and never come back, I went inside that restaurant and acted like the most confident and special woman. After all, he chose me too. I could see his hands and his attempt to keep them steady. But his mouth never lies. That's what made me fall for him in the first place. His lips had a slight jitter ever time he felt nervous. Was I in the way of something? He sat next to her and I had a front row ticket across from her. She was physically beautiful, but I had no respect for her. She strung along the man I loved and left him heartbroken. We spent hours with her and her colleagues. At the end of the night I thought, "why did come here?" How could allow myself to get this far and not even realize that I too had been heartbroken?

Start college, pick a major, don't screw up and graduate. The order seems about right, but that's not exactly how it goes. Declaring a major is exhausting, frustrating and the determination of what the rest of your years are going to look like. When you finish high school you are ready for a whole new experience, decisions to make all on your own, and adventures to live. With all of this freedom comes uncertainty. For the ten percent of students who go to college knowing exactly what they want to do, there's a level of security, but there is also a level of wonder- of thought- for some, not all. For the rest of us, well we just have to figure it out. The pressure instilled by colleges on declaring a major within the first year is challenging, especially and mainly because most of us don't have a clue on what we want to do with our lives. We pick a major and begin exploring new possibilities, which in turn creates doubt on whether or not we made the right choice. We change our majors and then close to graduation we are nearly certain that our choice wasn't the right one. We know we want to do something else or perhaps are still just as or completely clueless as the first day of school. 

Most college graduates who go on internships to begin their career realize within the first few years that perhaps what they studied is not what they want to do. Being in the world changes perspective. Some realize they don't care about making money and just want to be artistic and creative. Others realize the opposite or that they just want to live. Hence, the reason why so many people opt to travel or go back to school. 

All of these students and former students are people just like you. Some have found their way. Others are still uncertain or finding their way gradually. The point is, there is no right or wrong answer. Forget what some may think. Things can get difficult, messy, and senseless. But they also get easier, in order and fall into place. Time can be of the essence. Uncertainty will always find its way back (in other things) one way or another, but you learn to make decisions based on what you feel and know is right for you. So don't be tough on yourself. Take an artistic class, attend school events, meet new friends, build relationships, say what you want, face a fear, and appreciate the experiences this journey brings. 

Trusting, knowing you've been betrayed, and accepting it. Even in a time where women's rights have climbed quite a ladder, we still lack something very important. Though the betrayal of both sexes, male and female, has existed since the beginning of time, one of the most important institutions is flawed. Not because of what it demands, but simply because it is human nature to feel tempted. While fantasizing is a choice, we still do it. When a relationship is rocky, some do it even more. Some act upon it. When it's going good, we do it on our alone time. Some agree that what you don't know won't hurt you. Others believe in full honesty, even if the truth is only half and the rest is simply omitted. But what happens when these omissions are more of a betrayal? When we know our partners so well to the point of holding back events, situations, and actions because we rather not upset them or hurt them, is that love or dishonesty?