When You're Perfect Together But The Relationship Is Tricky

Relationships are often described as the magical union of two imperfect individuals, transforming dull and cold into shine and warm in the words of the poet Sara Teasdale. Teasdale in The Old Maid crosses a woman similar to her, a woman who has not loved. The absence of love has rendered the woman wearisome and unpleasant, despite sharing the same features than Teasdale herself. But no lover’s eyes look at the Old Maid, and consequently, her charms are buried away. The words resonate true with the reader, because, as we’ve all experienced love, we all know the positive influence of a relationship on the person.

However, while relationships can make one feel positively happy, they are also, as stated by the French poet and playwright, Alfred de Musset, the union of two imperfect individuals. Being imperfect means that sometimes the relationship doesn’t deliver the happiness you expected. What went wrong? Was your sweetheart not the right person for you? You’d be surprised to know that sometimes you are just perfect together. But life gets in the way and can ruin it all. Indeed relationships can be challenging, especially when you need to deal with a tricky situation that is not in your control. Here are some of the weirdest causes for a breakup, so make sure to read it carefully to find out whether your couple is at risk or not.

What makes your relationship work

Your friends don’t let you have a quiet night in
Who doesn’t love a nice night out with your friends? A girls’ night out can be not only hugely fun but also relaxing if you’ve been struggling with stressful issues on your end. So, here you are with your friends, planning the next wine tasting night between girls and wondering whether you need to read about wine tasting methodology or whether you can fake it through the night. Having fun with your friends is an essential part of maintaining your mental health in life. But your friends can also have a massive influence on your relationship, and especially the happiness of your couple. Many couples have argued about their friends. More often than not, when your best friends don’t appreciate your darling or don’t think they’re the best person for you, they can try to interfere with the relationship… and that’s when things can become difficult to handle. The unrequested attention can go through a variety of phases. You can have the subtle friend who’s trying to organize girls’ night out every weekend so that you have less time to spend with your beau. You might find that your friend will not take it lightly when you decide to reject their invitation to party to spend the evening with your data, which can create awkward situations where you might even be asked to choose between your friends and your boyfriend. Sometimes things can escalate very quickly, especially if you’re the only one in your group of friends to be in a relationship. In short, make it clear from the start to your friends and your boyfriend that you will not be choosing. Additionally, you should also be aware of friends criticizing your sweetheart behind your back. Unless they have a good reason to do so, these people are probably not worthy of your friendship.

He/ She is from another place
What if your beau comes from a different country? There can be something appealing and exciting about international relationships, but they can be difficult to handle from time to time. There is often a cultural barrier between you and your darling, that, despite language skills, can be tricky to remove. But ultimately, even when language skills are not an issue, it can be stressful for your partner to always speak in a non-native language, regardless of their linguistic abilities. There are emotions that are easier to translate into native words than into a learned foreign tongue. Additionally, there are subtle differences between every culture around the world. When someone brews you a nice cuppa in the US, it means relaxation and the chance to catch up. In Japan, it’s a polite indication that you should be going soon. Imagine the misunderstanding between an American and a Japanese partners! Your cultural background prepares you to have certain expectations about your relationship. However, these expectations can vary from a country to another, so it’s worth having an honest discussion about what you both expect from your couple before jumping to conclusions. Additionally, living in a foreign country can be synonymous with administrative nightmares for a lot of immigrants. From needing a visa, or even a partner-visa – you can find more information about it here – to having to prove lawful residence over a handful of years; your international lover can have a hard time to fit in. It’s crucial that you show patience and understanding for their difficulties if you want the relationship to work. Things will get better with time, as they become better integrated culturally, administratively and linguistically.

You’re not an au naturel person
Do you love makeup? Don’t worry if you do. A lot of women feel that makeup has given them the chance to improve their features and show their best profile at all times. In fact, makeup is as much an art as it is a beauty routine, so there’s nothing wrong about it assuming you use skin-safe products. However, your beau may not feel the same about your foundation, lipstick, contouring and eyeshadow kit. In fact, according to a British survey, one-third of men are turned off by women who wear too much makeup. Almost 40% of men think that women, in general, wear too much paint on their faces, and a whopping 75% of men prefer the au natural look. Admittedly, it doesn’t mean that you should get rid of your makeup kit right now, but it’s good to be aware of these views too, especially if you’re wearing makeup solely to impress the opposite sex. In extreme cases, makeup has been the reason for a breakup, such as this husband suing his wife when he first saw her without makeup. According to him, she seduced him with makeup, while she looks very different without. ​

I just need to tweet that
Smartphones are the most indispensable item of the modern life. You can use them to play, pay in shops, order items online, check your emails, update your social media feeds, and keep in touch with friends. Ultimately, it’s impossible to live without a smartphone. Except when you spend too much time on it. According to a new study from Brigham Young University, the constant tech interference disrupts your time together as a couple. Indeed, higher levels of “technoference” can lead to couples feeling depressed and overall experiencing low levels of satisfaction in life, which results in conflicts. After all, when your partner intentionally chooses to disrupt a romantic moment by using their smartphone, what they’re actually saying is that their phone matters more than you. And the feeling of rejection is painful to the point where some couples have decided to break up over it.

You don’t share the same political opinion
While you shouldn’t always think like your partner, there’s no denying that there are areas where different opinions can make it more difficult to enjoy a peaceful and happy relationship. Politics is, unfortunately, one of these topics, where divergences can affect your couple dramatically. Indeed, political views go hand-in-hand with the cultural values you’ve built your life on. If your darling is a convinced conservative while you’re more of a liberal individual, it’s likely that your perception of what is right and wrong in society will disagree greatly, making it challenging to move together in the same direction. In fact, no later than in 2016, the Brexit referendum in the UK has created a divide in a lot of relationships. In many cases, one partner has left the other, and while their opinion on Brexit might not have been the reason for their breakup, it has acted as a catalyst. Ultimately, sharing common values despite diverging views can be helpful in making it work.

You don’t have much in common
Most partners need to have common interests and values to build a healthy relationship. In fact, 64% of married Americans believe that you need to have shared interests to keep your relationship alive. But ultimately, does it mean that you can’t be together if he loves video games and you prefer to read? The answer is a little more complex than common interests. You need to have respect for each other to create and sustain your bond. For instance, Catherine Baab-Muguira claims that she and her husband have no common interest and that is precisely why they’ve been happily married for over a decade. It’s not the shared hobbies that matter, but it’s the interest you have in your partner that makes all the difference. If you are interested in their joy and can be happy on their behalf, then you don’t have to worry about not liking the same things.  
​Relationships are influenced by a variety of 

factors, from friends interference to shared interests. There’s no magic formula, but being aware of the risks can help you to stay happy together.  
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Always remember, compatibility in a relationship is very important. It makes it easier to make decisions together and enjoy quality time. Take that into consideration when settling for a mate. You are important and your views and beliefs matter. When compromising, always consider your views and your partner's. Ask yourself, can I adapt and/or agree to disagree? You matter. Consider your feelings and your partner's. Be fair, kind and compassionate with your partner and yourself. This will always help make the right decision.

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by Iconic Chica Contributors