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Quarantine Descripted: Katherine's Story

4/29/2020

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The Quarantine Diary

I believe things happen for a reason, but there are some instances, where I want to question the universe for doing certain things. Like the time my fifth-grade teacher made a comment in front of the whole class, on how similar my laugh was to the Disney character Goofy. I can still remember the feeling of wanting my desk to have a mouth and swallow me whole—to escape from the explosion of laughter that erupted from my classmates. Instead, I had to kindly play along like it was funny. What did I gain from that? I don’t know—I’m still waiting for a reply. 
COVID-19 has made headlines that have spread rapidly around the globe and decided to stop by and pay a visit to New Jersey. You may ask, “Katherine, where are you going with this?” Well initially, I was supposed to go on my first overnight trip, all expenses paid by the college, to represent my PTK chapter, Alpha Eta Chi, at the annual middle states regional convention. I was counting the days for this trip, practicing the parody song that my team was going to sing for a competition that is held at the convention between other chapters. I had my little blue suitcase ready to go three weeks prior—only to receive a notification that it was “postponed” to prevent the further spread of the virus. 
In my gut, I knew it was going to happen, but I still had my fingers crossed that it wouldn’t be canceled. 

Again, things happen for a reason and again, I’m still waiting for a reply. To make things better, New Jersey was ordered to follow a curfew from 8 p.m. to 5 a.m. I also have an online interview today at 4 p.m. with Rutgers HLLC Program.
I woke up at 7:30 a.m. to remind my mom to take me to a friend’s house for this online interview. She was in the kitchen fixing my sister's lunch, packing a container filled with soup and baby carrots in the bag. 
“You’re up early,” she said with a tired tone in her voice.
She had on her blue robe and her hair up in a messy bun.
“Remember that you have to take me to my friend Ashely’s house before 1, please.”
She nodded and I went back to my room to sleep two more hours. I didn’t think much of it until I was fixing my hair before heading out later that day when my mom decided to say something about it. ​
“I don’t know why you have to go to your friend’s house for some interview that’s online. Doesn’t make sense, you could do that here,” she said, before grabbing her purse, waiting for me to finally finish getting ready. ​
We already had this conversation before and it always ended up in a fight. 
“I could do that here, but you know why I don’t want to risk it—I don’t trust you guys, especially with an alcoholic...” I replied, which I regret saying because my mother's anger blew up in a split second once those words left my mouth. ​
“Alcoholic! Alcoholic! that all you can say about your father! He never did anything to you!” ​
​That was a lie. 

​​There are two sides of Hernan Avila, 
one is sober and one is not. ​

While the sober part of him is a good provider and a hard-working man, the alcoholic dependent side of him is verbally and emotionally abusive towards us—his own family. ​​
If I do the interview here at home, I know I would be either interrupted by one of the five other people in the apartment, not to mention two yapping dogs on the side. With my luck, I wouldn’t get two words in without someone yelling out something like, “Someone take out the gremlins!” Or “It’s my turn to play with the PS4!”. There are also surprise visits from my older cousins, stopping by for a free hot meal and giving us a free slap of criticism on how much we need to work on our apartment and our family, before heading home to their wives and children. 

My mother doesn’t see that. She is refusing to see that there’s anything wrong with this or the situation we live in. So I rather keep my mouth shut and let her yell out all her frustrations on to me. 
I think my mom is still in love with my dad’s sweeter side. The man that used to hold her hand and write love poems to her. Every time she mentions stories of them together back in Colombia, I can see why she is on the defensive when I talk about his “one” major flaw. She misses him. ​

After she was done scolding me, she eventually let out a sigh and took me to Ashely’s house. I got out of the green van and the last thing she said was, “I’ll pick you up at 6 on the dot, better not bring any coronavirus home, love you.”
 ​
I miss school. I would sometimes wake up in the morning and fantasize about my daily routine on campus. I had three online classes and one in person. The sole purpose of that was to have more time focusing on the LGBTQ+Allies club, PTK, and tutoring. On Mondays, I would get up at eight and get ready for my tutoring job as an English tutor, which starts at 10:30 a.m. I would then edit and talk to people on how to write a basic five-paragraph essay and how to take the CWE, a college writing exam, which is required for the students to graduate and receive their associate degree. 

One thing I enjoy at my job is people’s reaction, that light bulb moment, where their face brightens up and gives out a nod, in which they usually respond, “Oh I get it now!”. Many people that I tutor are mostly grown adults that decide to come back and further their education—those students are the ones I respect the most. There are two types of students, in my opinion, ones’ who are naturally smart and another who works hard to attain that knowledge. Yes, it’s great to be a naturally bright individual, but if you don’t work hard to further grow yourself and only rely on your natural capability, there’s a limit on how much your talent takes you. ​

After I’m done tutoring, I clock out and prepare to run an LGBTQ+ Allies meeting. As the president of the club, I would do a presentation with my e-board, regarding topics such as how the LGBTQ+ Allies came to be and if the college was still open, our next topic would be about mental health and how it plays a role in the LGBTQ+ community.  

Thinking back, I’m extremely proud of my e-board. I would brag about my e-board on the daily for the hard work and dedication they put in each meeting and bake sale.

Even though I am the president of the club, being president was nothing more than a title.

I never felt the need to overlook every little thing with my e-board, because I trust them and I trust their work. Each and every one of them are their own leader and boss. We are a good team and I would never trade that for anything. ​

​My last e-board succeeded in getting neutral bathroom signs put up on campus, so that was really exciting. This year, my new e-board was focusing on raising enough money for our annual pride prom, that we host every year for the students and staff. Our mission was to bring and unite Passaic County Community College students and staff to a festive event, where everyone celebrates and has fun, regardless of sex, sexual orientation, religion, and nationality. Every year it was a hit and as the president this year, I was ready to make 2020 pride prom bigger than before. We had the date set, which was April 17th, the forms were in order, the venue was reserved, the food was all paid for and we were in the process of paying for a photo booth company in advance for their service at the event. Too bad we can never see our hard work pay off. Thanks Coronavirus. 

After leading the LGBTQ+Allies meeting, I head to the library, where the Phi Theta Kappa and Honors room resides, the CLE, which stands for the Center of Learning and Excellence. I would do my homework and crack jokes to anyone who was in the room at the time. If the PTK e-board needed help, I would be the first to give a hand, whether it was putting up flyers or being an action coordinator for the PTK honors in action committee. 

I gained many skills and opportunities being a full member of Phi Theta Kappa, like getting my mural design approved to be published for the college, but that doesn’t compare to the one thing I gained the most out of this organization, which is meeting and being surrounded by beautiful and inspiring individuals, who aim for the same goal as I do, which is to help and change our environment and community, whether it’s big or small, for the better. 

Having online classes doesn’t compare or simulate this kind of support and love given at a college. There are so many things I’m going to miss about going to PCCC and even though I’m sad this journey came to an end so abruptly, I’m hopeful of finding another one soon. 

I still believe everything happens for a reason.


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by Katherine Avila
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