Advice For The Nervous Dater

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You’re not the first person to struggle with the complex and competitive world of dating. Even when you take out all the people with whom you’re “competing” in the dating scene, it can be hard to know what to do when you eventually do get over the hurdle of finding somebody who wants to go out on a date with you.

Let’s just take a step back, though, because you’re probably very nervous about the thought of dating at all if you clicked on this article. Nonetheless, everybody deserves to find someone special. If you know you want to be in a relationship but you’ve no idea how to conquer your insecurities and self-doubts then here are some pieces of advice which might just help you.

The date
The first thing you need to do on your quest to find a relationship is to arrange the actual date itself. This might be a scary prospect, whether you’ve been in a relationship before or not. Nervous daters are certainly not the kind of people who usually approach potential partners and ask them out. Of course, the modern age has given us plenty of great new solutions for this.

You don’t have to head out to a bar and start chatting up somebody attractive at the bar. You could head over to a private dating site such as SpecialBridge.com if you’ve struggled with dating in the past because of mental or physical conditions that hold you back. Dating can seem like a very open and vulnerable thing, but if you struggle with social situations, for whatever reason, then there are ways to find people like you or who understand your problems and will be kind and respectful on a date. It beats going up to a total stranger.

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The outfit
Finding your date is the easy part, believe it or not. You might scoff at that, of course, but it’s true. The part which will probably give you the most headaches, as we’ve discussed before, is choosing the right outfit for the evening (or afternoon, depending on the kind of date you’ve arranged). Dressing for the occasion is all about the venue and the time of day at which the date is taking place. If you’re going for a coffee or a spot of lunch then smart-casual wear will do. You don’t want to turn up to the place looking scruffy but you also don’t want to be overdressed for a daytime meetup at a small coffee shop.

The icebreaker
If you’re nervous for your first date with somebody then the important thing to remember is that they’re probably just as nervous as you. Dating can be awkward at first as you don’t really know the person and you have to figure out their personality along with the types of things it’s okay (or not okay) to say to them. The best way to begin is with a cheesy and inoffensive icebreaker to get you both laughing and in the mood. There’s some good advice in this regard over at yourtango.com, but you can always ask your friends for help if you’re struggling for some good opening lines.

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​by Iconic Chica Contributors