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Four Things That Could Go Wrong On Your Next First Date

2/28/2020

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Does anyone really look forward to a first date?

First dates are supposed to be exciting, a time for discovery and getting to know the quirks and laugh of someone new. You’ve agreed to the date because you’re interested in the person who has asked you out. The thing is, no matter which way you look at it, a first date is but an interview - not for a job, of course, but for a partner. You use this time to see how the conversation flows. You know whether they’re funny. If you’re really interested, you see how they land their vote politically, too. It’s all-important, and yet so many things can go wrong on a date.

This is where the nerves kick in. Will it be the spinach in the teeth of old? Will it be the brownie you bite into that breaks your tooth enough to need same day tooth crowns sorted out? Will you get plain old stood up? The nerves are real, and the things that can go wrong on a first date are also real. They can seriously test you and knock your confidence, so forewarned is forearmed!

Let’s take a look at things that could go wrong on the next first date you have - so you can be ready for anything.

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  • You Can’t Find Them
You were supposed to meet at the bar at 6pm. You dashed home from work, showered and changed and got there on time, so you wait. You check your phone: they’ve messaged to say they’ve arrived. You can’t see them anywhere. You have to do now that thing of staring around a busy bar looking for someone you have only seen on Facebook (or worse: on Tinder). It’s a bad start to what will be a long date!
  • You’re Late - On The Subway
You didn’t drive or get a cab because it’s not too far to the chosen date location. You’ve decided instead to hop the subway. Of course, this is the moment that something goes wrong: on a tunnel, underground, with no signal. It’s not easy to recover from being late as it is, but what if you’re delayed for much longer than 10-15 minutes? You’re going to have some serious explaining to do - if he ever picks up the phone again. It’s not your fault, but it’s the first date - he’s going to be expecting the worst if you’re late!
  • The Conversation Is Dead
Oh, how you have TRIED. Over text and email, he was charming, witty, wordy. And yet in front of you nursing his drink, he doesn’t have a clue how to keep the conversation moving. Or worse - he doesn’t want to talk much. A first date is all about sparkles and sparks flying, which means that a dead conversation is one that can really pour a bucket of water over any chance of a second date. Of course, he could just be nervous, but that doesn’t help you!
  • There’s An Emergency
Someone has choked on their food, or broken a tooth, or impaled their eye on a stray toothpick. No matter what it is, the ambulances have been called and someone is headed to hospital. It doesn’t do much for the old self-esteem when a first date is ruined, never mind hospitalized!

By IC mag Contributors
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Those Things You're Afraid to Talk to Your Doctor About

2/24/2020

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It happens to us all - if you’re a living, breathing human being, you’ve likely had a health scare or some weird thing happen that you’re unsure about, a little bit nervous, a lot embarrassed, and you’re just not quite sure you’re up to talking about it. For you, the embarrassment factor outweighs your desire to get answers, so you don’t bring it up and hope for the best. A lot of times whatever we’re worrying about is nothing (if you’re a fan of “Doctor Google” you’ve no doubt had more than one totally unfounded freak-out session. Seriously, don’t google your symptoms!), but there are a few instances where you should forget about the awkward factor and always talk to your doctor. 

We’ve laid out a few of these scenarios below: 

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Photo Credit: Birdie Wyatt
Getting Tested
This is one big issue that concerns a lot of people - most people, in fact, regardless of age, gender, orientation or status would say, if they were being honest, that they’ve worried about getting tested for STDs at some point in their life. Many of them have gone on to actually get tested, and good on them. Because testing for STDs is one of the most proactive and responsible things you can do. Whether you’re a teen or an adult, STDs don’t discriminate, and biting the bullet and getting tested will give you peace of mind, as well as ensuring your physical health is where it should be.

And believe us, doctors have seen and heard it all. They won’t make you feel awkward, judge you or embarass you further. They are here to help. Even better, STD testing is anonymous and in most cases, free or very low cost. You’ll get your discreet results in days, and for most STDs, in the rare case that you have one, treatment is easy and effective. There’s literally no reason not to go ahead and get tested. 

Skin Issues
This is another big one that people avoid seeing a doctor for, and it’s honestly baffling. Whether it’s a rash, an irregular mole that is giving you anxiety, or something like acne or psoriasis, so many people simply never go to the doctor, choosing instead to suffer in silent embarrassment and discomfort. 

There’s no reason for this. Seeing a dermatologist is a simple visit, often with solutions being offered on the first visit. Procedures like mole-removal and obtaining prescription medications are cost-effective and same-day in many cases. And when it comes to your skin - never ignore issues or put off treatments. Your skin is your biggest organ, and you simply must take care of it. 

Family Planning

It’s ironic (and unfortunate) that the group most in need of family planning assistance are the ones who often refuse to get it - young people. Whether it’s due to embarassment, a lack of money/transportation, family shaming/awkwardness, moral or religious beliefs or a lack of education (likely it’s a combination of all of these factors) young people often don’t see a doctor to get birth control or other related services. ​

​Many clinics and health departments actually offer free condoms as well as free or sliding scale birth control, as well as provide free pap smears and pregnancy/STD testing.
They can also help you if you are pregnant, by providing you with prenatal vitamins and bloodwork, assisting you to get on government healthcare programs, and even guide you in the right direction to schedule an appointment should you wish to terminate. Many clinics also provide counselling and other services, including WIC for young babies. They also work with young men, providing them with birth control, testing and sex education counseling. 

These medical personnel are trained professionals with no bias, who see dozens of young people per week, so there’s no need to feel awkward or worry about judgement. They’re just doing their job. 

Gastrointestinal Issues

This is another one that people often avoid seeing a doctor for, and it’s to their own detriment. So many people these days suffer from unidentified stomach problems. For many who assume it’s just an intolerance to milk or cheese, or who figure stress is the reason for their stomach ache - it might be a larger issue, such as IBS, or even a disease such as Chrohn’s or Celiac Disease. Seeing a doctor to get to the bottom of your stomach issues will ease your mind, giving you real insight into what’s causing the problem so you can go back to enjoying food again and stop being embarrassed by your irritable gut. 

For many, especially those who are young, live in rural areas, or are disabled, money is a real concern when it comes to healthcare, and for a lot of these people, that’s the main reason they don’t see a doctor. It isn’t about the medical issue for them - it’s about the cost. This is a real concern, and it’s the reason why everyone argues about healthcare the most during any election season. There are millions of people in the country who either don’t have health insurance at all, or if they do, it doesn’t cover what they need. So they suffer and don’t visit the doctor because they can’t afford it. 

For these folks, sometimes the only real option is to visit an urgent care or quick clinic facility, or perhaps visit a health department. Several of these clinics have been popping up in recent years, offering professional, general care in a convenient setting, often for a sliding scale fee. These doctors’ visits are truly better than nothing, so if you have one of these medical concerns, please go see a doctor, even if it’s just at urgent care. Putting off your health is always the last thing you should do. And as always, eat nutritious foods, exercise, drink lots of water, take a multivitamin, and look after your mental health, too. Looking after your health in every possible way is your best bet for a healthy, happy life.

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By IC mag Contributors
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Things You Can Do to Make Your Relationship Even Better

2/20/2020

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Image Source Pixabay - CCO Licence
Whether you’ve been with your spouse for a year or you’ve been married for a decade, and no matter how good your relationship might be, things can get comfortable; you can get complacent; issues can creep in where there were no issues before. That’s why relationships have to be worked on all the time.

If you’ve decided it's time work on your relationship to make it the best it can be, here are a few things you can do:

Ask Something Different
Most of us have a set a few questions that we ask our partners each day. Things like “What was your day like at work?” and “Did you have fun with Jen?” are repeated day after day, and that can get, well, repetitive. Maybe it even sounds like a question out of obligation, though it's probably not at all the intention. So, why not shake things up by asking something new, something unexpected that will break the routine and make things a bit more intriguing. Get creative. 

Try New Things in The Bedroom

Many sex therapists recommend shaking things up in the bedroom. Intimacy is important in a relationship and the bedroom should be a safe space for you and your partner to be vulnerable and share your fantasies. Both feeling comfortable and exploring that together evolves the partnership and allows romance back into your lives. 
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Image Source Pixabay - CCO Licence
Show Your Appreciation
When you’re comfortable in a relationship you get used to the little things your spouse does for you, which means you can overlook them and neglect to show any appreciation. You can expect things and forget how important it is to see each other and appreciate the partnership.  Getting creative in all aspects helps the relationship. Doing little spontaneous things like, buying a plant, flowers or even a cake from that favorite spot of hers or his. 

Forgive and Let Go
If your partner has hurt you in some way and it led to an argument, remember forgiveness and empathy. Once you’ve found the space to forgive, allow yourself the opportunity to let go. Bringing it up will only harm your well being and your relationship. This will make for a much more grown-up and harmonious relationship. Talk it through, listen to each other, and if you must, agree to disagree. 

Apologize

Conversely, when you’ve done something that hurts both your partner and your relationship, don’t be stubborn - apologize. Grow together in the relationship through maturity, learned mistakes, and new choices. This will help both of you. 

Have Plenty of Me Time
Part of building a healthy relationship is having time apart. Spending time catering to your own needs means that you will be happier, healthier, and grounded. It will benefit you both having time for your own individual needs. Remember, you can only make you happy. We are all individually responsible for our own choices and happiness. 

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By IC mag Contributors
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Getting Your Wardrobe Ready For Summer

2/20/2020

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While we are still in the midst of winter, there is no doubt that your mind might be occupied by the spring and summer months ahead. Planning can be key, especially when it comes to changes with your wardrobe selections. So what should you be thinking about? 

With that in mind, here are some of the perfect additions you can add to your wardrobe to make the whole dilemma of what to wear that little bit easier when warmer weather sneaks in... You’re welcome!     

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Image source - Pixabay - CC0 License
Think about cooler materials
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When it comes to summer, we can often find that we struggle because of the heat. Getting too hot, sweaty and generally feeling uncomfortable is never pleasant, especially when you still have a job to do and things to organise. So the materials you choose for the clothing you wear in the summer can make a dramatic difference. Cooler materials include things like linen, silk and cotton. Adding key pieces to your wardrobe that use these materials can help you to feel light and cooler in your outfit choices. 

What is your style and “go to” pieces?
A great thing to consider at this time of year, especially if you are wanting to add to your wardrobe, is to think about the “go to” pieces that you constantly wear all of the time. If you are a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl, then you can still rock that signature look, but for summer it might be cut off jeans and a cotton slogan t-shirt. If that makes sense. Think about the body shape you have and what sort of clothing will work well. 

Don’t forget the accessories
When it comes to an outfit there is only one real big way to transform the look and make it look a little more different and finished off. That is through your choice of accessories. From the choice of earrings such as spiral earrings for a minimalistic look to the statement necklace there is bound to be a different trend you can follow. Some prefer to keep to the essentials, like an engagement or wedding ring and standard stud earrings. But it doesn’t mean you can’t add to it, and try something a little different. 
 
Why don’t you step out of your comfort zone? 
Finally, don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and try a different style for summer. Maybe a maxi dress if you always live in jeans. Perhaps adding some colour if you prefer to always wear black. Small changes like this can make a big difference to how you look and is an excellent way of boosting your confidence. Don’t go overboard straight away, clothing is an expression of your personality, and so you want to ensure that you stick with a style that you are comfortable with, while trying to add some new touches. Colour and different textures are two great places to start with this, but don’t be afraid to try something new. 

We hope these tips help you add some new things to your summer wardrobe. And remember, most of it is about attitude. So be yourself, honor who you are, and rock that style that is true to you. 

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by IC mag Contributors

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Cupcakes for Everyone

2/19/2020

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When the sweet tooth calls, sometimes we feel the need to respond with more than just a berry. This comment was not created to offend any berries or lover of berries. We love them, we eat them, we savor them. In fact, you can totally try your favorite berry on top of these delicious cupcakes you're about to make. 

They're fluffy, light, and inspired by some favorite recipes to make these cupcakes both healthy-ish and delicious.

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Ingredients
1/4 brown sugar (or coconut sugar)
1/4 coconut sugar (or brown sugar)
1/4 cup coconut oil
1 flax egg
1 tsp of vanilla extract
1/2 cup coconut flour
1/2 cup all purpose flour or oat flour
1tsp of baking powder
1/3 cup of non dairy milk
Process
Mix in ingredients in the order listed
Pour mix in cupcake liners
Bake for 25 minutes at 350 degrees F (or insert a toothpick and if clean, it's ready)
Let sit for a few minutes
Add in your favorite vegan frosting or heat up some fruit with coconut milk and pour over cupcake.

Enjoy!
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Let us know if you like and share your photos with us on social media!

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​By Jessica G Ferrer
​@jessicagferrer


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When You Try Your Best But The World Is Rubbish

2/14/2020

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It’s so clear to us why so many people are suffering from mental health problems. The world is totally messed up at the minute. There is so much hate and violence going on in the world that it’s out of control. All you have to do is turn on the news and you hear of a new tragedy. Then you have everything else in your life that might not be going smoothly. You might have elderly parents that you feel you’ve become a carer for, work might be pressuring you to meet impossible deadlines, and your relationship might have taken a hit because of it. It’s crazy to think that young children are now saying they have mental health conditions, so it’s easy to see why so many adults do. So, when the world seems to be so rubbish, how do you think you’re going to do anything about it? 

Well, we’re going to give you some tips that we think will help you do your best, and battle away some of the rubbish that the world might throw at you.

Healthcare Scandals
There are so many things going on in this world that we don’t know about, and the scandals that go on behind closed doors of healthcare institutes are one of them. You would think that these people would be the people who you can trust the most, but the mistreatment some professionals give to patients is terrible. What makes it worse is that it’s most likely the most vulnerable that are being neglected or abuse. So, you could put your elderly relative into a nursing home because you think it’s the best thing for them, but nursing homes have the worst reputation of mistreating their patients. For example, nursing home bedsores are one of the most common signs of neglect that people ignore. Bedsores just shouldn’t happen. Residents should be moved every hour to make sure that their skin stays healthy and intact, but there are so many cases of bedsores that it’s hard to count. So, always make sure you’re doing thorough research into any healthcare establishment you’re going into, whether it be for yourself or for a relative.

Relationship Betrayals
Being betrayed in your relationship is one of the worst feelings in the world, but it’s definitely a feeling that so many people have. It’s likely that most women are going to go through a relationship breakup that they didn’t want through cheating, or something similar. It can be truly heartbreaking, but it’s so important to remember it’s not your fault. As long as you can say that you put in all the effort to make sure that they were happy and you were both happy, then it wasn’t your fault. Everyone is destined to meet their one true love, so don’t give up hope on yours just because you’ve had to kiss a few toads first.

A Terrible Work Life

One that we can definitely all relate to, terrible work life can make you wonder what the point in working is. Some people have such terrible experiences, such as bullying or sexual abuse. In this instance, always make sure you’re seeking legal advice!

by IC mag Contributors
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What it Means to Find the Home of Your Dreams

2/13/2020

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Finding the home of your dreams might not sound like a realistic aim, but we’ve all got to reach for the stars in life from time to time. Why settle for a place that doesn’t quite work for you and your family when you could instead find a place that genuinely makes you happy each and every day? Here’s what it means to find the home of your dreams and what it takes.
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Image Source - CC0 License
Tempering Your Aims with Realism
First of all, you should look to find a dream home without completely letting go of your sense of realism. If you head to an estate agent such as William Pitt Realty, you should look for places that offer all of the things you need while also falling within your price range. There’s no way to buy a house that you simply have no way of affording after all.

Not Feeling Constrained by Expectations

You shouldn’t worry too much about what people tell you that you should look for in a new home. After all, it’s you and your family who will be living in your home, no one else. Many of us still worry too much about people’s expectations and what people see as normal or desirable. You’ll find it easier to find the home that’s right for you if you stop worrying about what other people think.

Thinking Outside the Box
When you think outside the box in life you can find all kinds of new ideas and possibilities that you would never have given any time or thought to in the past. Don’t feel like you have to look at houses that fit a conventional mold. Look further afield if you think that’s where you might find the home that you’ve been searching for.

Taking All Needs Into Account
When buying a family home, you can’t afford to get too wrapped up in the things you want. After all, it’s a team effort and a collaboration. Take everyone’s needs into account so that each of you can feel like you’re living in a place that really meets your needs and does everything you want it to.

Considering the Future and Not Just Today
Try to look to the future and work out what you’re going to need in a few years time, not just today. After all, our needs change as time passes. Considering the future and what might come will help you to find a home that not only delivers what you need it to do today but also in the years still to come as well.

If you take all of the things discussed above into account, you should find it much easier to find a home that ticks all of your boxes and also works functionally for you and your family. It can be a difficult balance to strike at times, but if you put in the work now, it’ll really pay off for you later.

by IC mag Contributors
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Outdoor Play and Its Role in Children's Development

2/10/2020

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​​From playing videogames to watching cartoons on Netflix, many children seem to be spending more of their time indoors instead of playing outside like in previous generations. Because of this, a lot of studies have been conducted to highlight the adverse effects of increased time indoors and proper play space designs on children's wellbeing and development.
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Also, there has also been increased research on the many benefits of spending time outdoors. 

Here are some of them:

Outdoor play results in physically healthier children
For activities such as running, jumping around, climbing things, throwing and catching balls, lifting and pulling things, and carrying random objects, there is no place better than the outdoors. Because all of these require motor skills, children get to improve their abilities through constant practice.

In addition to gaining new skills, they also get enough aerobic exercise to stay healthy. When children spend more time burning calories outdoors, they lower their risks of developing obesity while strengthening their bones and muscles.

Also, playing outdoors means they are exposed to the sun. And yes, too much sun exposure can increase the risk of developing skin cancer. However, our bodies still need the sun to make vitamin D - an essential vitamin that contributes to some important body processes.

It also has a crucial role in our immune system, sleep patterns, and mood. When we get regular sunshine, our bodies function a lot better.
Outdoor play plays a role in cognitive and social or emotional development
The best types of outdoor plays are the unstructured ones because these allow them to develop several behavioural skills, such as taking turns and sharing with other children. When they are outdoors, they have more chances to be inventive and curious about the things around them.

This, in turn, encourages them to utilise their own abilities. They can come up with their own play games with their friends or siblings, and these interactions with other children around their age will allow them to improve a number of important life skills, such as cooperation, communication and organisation.

In addition, staying outdoors means they get more fresh air, which can reduce their stress levels.
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Outdoor play teaches children to take risks
It is crucial for children to learn how to take some risks, even at an early age. Of course, as parents, this could cause some anxiety. After all, we all want our little ones to stay safe. But, if parents only let their kids in their comfort zones and never allow them to take any risks at all, they wouldn't know their real abilities and would grow up clueless.

They will not have the right amount of confidence and bravery to face life's challenges when they get older. Failures and rejections are part of life - for children, it could be breaking an arm from climbing a tree or getting rejected when they tried to make new friends.
​These, however, don't mean they should give up and never try again. These are important lessons that will help them later on in life.

by IC Mag contributors
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Aging Gracefully Shouldn't Mean Letting Age Restrict You

2/10/2020

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When we see celebrities undergo extensive plastic surgery to the point where the treatments become noticeable and radically alter how that person looks, we can sometimes feel quite sad about it. Sometimes it's easy to see someone being uncomfortable with how they look, despite holding an attractive, well-loved and famous (prior) appearance. While we should never criticize someone for undergoing treatments or finding their own journey, it’s easy to feel empathy, especially if we see them undergoing treatment after treatment.
We may believe, in relation to this, that aging gracefully is a worthwhile ideal, because none of us can stay young forever. But then again, most of us wish to feel young and to look youthful, and so it’s important to find a middle ground here. Aging gracefully needn’t mean letting age restrict how you look. For instance, sometimes a mother, father or someone who has been in a relationship long may begin to pay less attention to their appearance and style themselves less. This applies to a lot of us, not just mothers and fathers and those in long time relationships. Maybe we don't think we need the  effort any more and we're tired. Truth is, we become more beautiful, more experienced, and wiser with time. Surely, we should celebrate that. Don't you thing?

With the following advice, we’ll help you find that worthy middle ground:

Youthful Treatments
A youthful treatment here and there needn’t be as intrusive as many you see, but they may be just as effective. For instance, Thermage treatments are non-invasive radiofrequency treatments that allow the skin to stay healthy, supple and youthful, giving you a radiant glow that can help you look even more beautiful when smiling with authenticity and youthful vigor. With added considerations such as worthwhile skin care treatments, you can truly get the best out of your approach.

Weight Maintenance
Keeping an eye on your weight can be a little more difficult as you age, but that shouldn’t stop you from applying worthwhile eating habits and getting exercise where you can. Keeping your waistline in check can help you age more slowly, it can help your skin retain its beauty, and it will also lower your chances of dealing with age-related symptoms and stressors. In this way you can quite literally feel years younger than you might have otherwise, and of course age is nothing if not a predictor for how you feel in your body and how well you retain your youthful vigor and attitude.

The Style Is Yours
Keeping an eye on your style can help you feel confident, it can help you look younger, and it can also help you avoid dressing ‘as an old person’ simply because you feel you’ve hit a certain age. Of course, if you’re in your mid-fifties then wearing pencil-thin miniskirts and bralettes to the local club may not be something that interests you, but that doesn’t mean you should only wear drab cardigans and forgo any sense of fashion curation, or feel ashamed to have your hair dyed or to keep up with trends that interest you. When you understand that the style is yours, you can better use it to your advantage.

With this advice, we hope you can age gracefully and with confidence.

By IC Mag contributors
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