Poem: "Pseudo"

From 'Words, Compilated', this is 'PSEUDO'

It wasn't real 
Your smiles and conversations
I was the giver
You were the taker
 
That strength, courage, decisions unquestioned 
I followed you with admiration
 
Desire
 
Qualities I’d been searching to acquire
You had the answer
I invited you in 
I chose you
 
The surface I created, alluring
Beneath was undeniable 
Gauze peeled off:
Insecurities, envy, competition
Product of my own delusion
To live in a world ignorant of egoism 
Fiction of my creation 
 
All in my mind
How foolish was I

Flipped over
Disenchanted
Dark, dry, and sour 
I see your true colors.

​Excerpt From: Jessica G. Ferrer. “Words, Compilated.” Jessica G. Ferrer, 2019. Apple Books. https://books.apple.com/us/book/words-compilated/id1458905696

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